Tuesday 31 December 2019


So 2019 is coming to an end and I'd be lying if I said I had any sort of commentary on the past year at all. I definitely don't want to talk about politics or world affairs because quite frankly we all know I'm a massive hippie lefty vegan so I'm sure you can quite accurately guess my opinion on things such as the recent election result...

What I would like to talk about is myself because that's all I really know. Firstly, I feel like I've been asleep for at least 50% of the past year including all the time that I was awake. I've been really missing university and education in general which to be honest was of no surprise and will be rectified in the new year... That's quite exciting.

My depression hasn't got any worse which is nice. It's sort of stayed at a very similar level for the past year which makes it a bit easier to cope with I guess. I'm still the same person I was at the start of the year but I seem to have developed a weird ethereal view of myself and everything I do. It's like my mind and body are more separate than ever and I am really enjoying the distance.

I have also learnt a lot about being a grown up and about adult friendships recently. There seems to be a weird unspoken thing that some people are just bitches? And that you have to just deal with it? I'm almost certain there is another solution other than dealing with it but it's working quite well for me.

I've also learnt that some people just really like drama and will do anything to create and then maintain their dramatic existence. This is not something I intend to be a part of. It's not a terrible thing though,and doesn't mean these people are terrible people either, I'm just completely uninterested by it all.

I've been very lucky this year however, to make some really wonderful friends who I know I'll be close to as long as I live and it makes me so happy. As you grow up you're told that making friends as an adult is difficult but I honestly don't think it has to be and it hasn't been difficult for me. If I've liked someone and thought "yeah I'd like to hang out with them" then I've pursued that- simple as. And I'm bloody glad that that's my attitude.

Sad things happened this year, as they always do, and we coped and we carry on coping. Some things happen and will be eternally sad and that's ok, no one expects you to be content 24/7 and you shouldn't be. Some things are sad and yet you moved on, and that's ok too, as long as you are surrounded by love I think you'll be fine- whether you're happy or sad.

2019. Wow. When did I grow up? Here's to still accidentally writing the date as 2012...


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