Sunday 2 July 2017


So we are now half way through 2017. I'm not sure how I feel about that since it still feels like 2010 was yesterday but this year is good so far. Lot's of good things have happened and less good things that sort of made me happier somehow. I'm in a very good place at the moment, I'm going to miss nottingham and my best friends over summer of course but for once I'm actually looking forward to moving home for a bit.

I've decided a lot this year, especially regarding myself which I actually didn't think I'd ever have to do, I thought I was pretty comfortable with how I was but I guess that doesn't mean I can't be better. I thought maybe I'd share with you some of the things I've decided and maybe at the end of the year I'll let you know if I still think in the same way.

1. Money is unfortunately essential - but I'd rather be happy than rich. I started a volunteer job as supervisor at an oxfam bookshop in January, I'm unpaid and it's the best job I've ever had, I completely adore being there. I could have easily got a part time paid job for whilst I'm at uni but I definitely wouldn't be as happy, even if I could afford to buy more or do more.

2. I don't need to censor myself - I should be able to tell anyone anything and feel comfortable with voicing my opinion, which I always have to an extent. Obviously I'm not going to be harsh or cruel to people just because I have something to say but if I feel strongly about something, about anything I want to be able to talk about it.

3. If someone doesn't appreciate you as much as you do them, they aren't worth the time you're giving them. Especially if they voice that fact. Also people change their minds and that's okay.

4. I need to stop comparing myself to how I used to be. - I have lost weight, this is no secret and I'd be lying if I said I don't prefer how I look now and the fact that I'm a tiny bit smaller. My face is slimmer and I almost have cheekbones (which I have been complimented on?!) and I look back at photos and am almost disgusted at how I looked even though at the time I was just as vain and comfortable? I need to alter the way I think about myself because I definitely don't think it's healthy to put a younger version of myself down, especially since she is me. I need to stop trying to figure out what my younger self would think of me now because that doesn't matter, I need to realise that I am the same person, not different people.

5. Counselling is good and I needed it. I don't really know what else to say about that, just that if you're offered counselling please give it a try because I don't think I'd be how I am or where I am without it. I sort of miss it now it's over but I definitely got what I needed from it.

I don't really know if any of this made any sense but I've been bored senseless watching gilmore girls and I clearly needed to talk or write or something.

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