I know I don't post anymore, there is no reason really, I just have no concept of time passing, I don't ever realise how long it has been since last writing, even though it is something I love and do consistently in almost any other capacity.
At this very moment I am experiencing withdrawals from my prescribed anti-depressant. I haven't decided to stop taking it, through no one's fault my prescription just hasn't arrived yet, so I'm 6 days into having not taken any completely against my will and my brain is not working properly.
It is not that anti-depressants make me function (although they do) and therefore I cannot without them but in fact having taken them consistently for years, I only know how to function with them. Plus the withdrawal symptoms of Sertraline just aren't particularly nice. I am dizzy regardless of being sitting or standing, I feel lethargic and nauseous and yet I can't stop my brain to even just sleep it all off.
All of this on top of the fact that I think I have probably been in some form of a dissociative state for the past 5 years is just a lot. It's not that I haven't participated in the world in all that time, I definitely have and I have done so many wonderful things in that time, I just feel like I haven't been properly present for a long time. This might all just read as complete nonsense, but I do think I needed to get it all out?
Maybe I'll start blogging again, just for myself, for some sort of discussion to figure everything out.
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